Longing free 2012/2013

She woke up to the early morning song of the remaining birds. The sun had not yet risen, but it was still bright enough to see. She lifted away the protective vegetation and stood up. Out of pure instinct and with full concentration, she listened to her surroundings and noted that there was no sign of human life in her vicinity.

She exhaled and dusted off the dry earth, the needles and the insects she had spent the night with, while her thoughts drifted back to the past. Could they have somehow prevented development, could they have lived differently, could they have influenced, why hadn't they loved enough and why hadn't they prioritized life and love?.

She couldn't find any real answers, but sadness and a strong inner longing struck the moment she left the edge of the forest and was dazzled by the yellow sand and the fresh scent of the sea.

She gathered courage and stepped out into the cold water to let the waves wash away the night and there she met the sun's first glance with closed eyes and let it gently caress her.

Memories returned with full force and they stabbed like needles in her fragile heart. The longing was intrusive, painful and so strong that she no longer really breathed. Then she felt life again. So obvious, beautiful and penetrating that the bitter cold and the constant darkness left her alone for a moment.

Warmth took over and life quickly transformed into a meadow filled with the most beautiful flowers. Contours of face, body and smile grew stronger and stronger and suddenly everything was as before again. She was filled with joy of life and without thinking she took a deep breath and just floated.

When she looked into the familiar, understanding eyes and closed her arms around them, she was filled with natural love, an inner life that always means beautiful. Longing for freedom.